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Her..

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Xilent-Strawberry

Published: Dec 7, 2010

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Literature Text

I'm shy, she's social.

I hate, she loves.

I frown, she laughs.

I'm bullied, she's not.

I cry, she smiles.

I'm home, she's with her friends.

I'm lonely, she's surrounded.

I'm content, she's unhappy.

I'm jealous, and so is she.

I'm jealous of her.

and she is jealous of me.

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So.. Stuff just happened in my house.. And I broke something that's not cheap.. And I was so pissed I cried.. And then somehow, this flowed out of me.. >.<

I like it.. The only part that ryhmes is the last stanza.. ^^

Anywhos.. I'm not sure I understand it myself so please don't ask me what it's about.. My assumption is that the "she" or "her" is a popular girl, who seems happy on the outside, but isn't very pleased with herself.. And then there's "I" or "I'm" who is a shy outcast who at least wants to be noticed.. I compared that kid to myself.. But I'm not entirely what the poem states. So it's really not me. Make sense? O.o

Copyright (c) MysteriousMittens [Me]

Comments63

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Adonael

Nov 3, 2012

I like the concept of two opposing entities...people always crave what they can't have and it's really apparent here.

Human nature shown at its finest. This was an effective poem and the rhyme at the end was a nice little quirk. However some of the lines are very long-winded. I found that the short, snappy ones were more effective so look for words that show more with less.

But overall, bravo.

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